30 Things to do with Mr Picklepants
by kingdomheartsgurl369
Summary: After defeating Vouldy Mouldy, Harry and his imaginary friend, Mr. Picklepants, are on an adventure sought out to deafeat boredom once and for all. On their adventures, Ron always seems to get in the way, and Hermione always seem to be mad at someone.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I should be updating my other fanfic, but I got bored :P So my friend Jessica and I (you know, my partner in crime XD) decided to write another story. Unlike 'Edward meets Jace', it's actually in story format!**

**P.S. Just so you know, if you frolick in the rain, drink Monster energy drinks (the purple one X3) and read this fanfic in a British accent, it's WAY more funny than it actually is. Which is pretty funny.**

Chapter 1

Idea 1: Go to the Movies

Harry was having a non-eventful day with his imaginary friend, Mr. Picklepants the Hedgehog, when the door opened and a mess of fiery red hair was in his face within a second.

"That's enough Harry; I'm taking you out to a movie tonight. Every since you killed You-Know-Who, you've been hiding. It's not good for your mental stability," said Ron.

Harry gave him a thoughtful look before saying,

"I think I will go to the movies tonight…but not with you mate."

"Who else do you have?"

"…Well…"

* * *

"Two tickets for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for Harry Potter and Mr. Picklepants."

The ticket dispenser raised her eyebrows.

"Mr. Picklepants?" she asked sceptically.

"Yes."

The ticket dispenser, Jessica, decided that this poorly attempted imposter of Harry Potter was completely bonkers and not worth tainting her own innocent mind.

"Here are your tickets, enjoy your show…" she trailed off as 'Harry' rushed off the popcorn stand.

Harry made his way over to the popcorn stand to a cute red headed girl who looked a lot like Ginny. 'Only hotter' he allowed himself such a thought as he eyed the girl.

"Hello, what can I get 'cha?" asked the girl.

"Hmm… what would you like Mr. Picklepants?" asked Harry, bending over to his friend.

The popcorn counter girl, Stephanie, looked quizzical as she bent over to see this mysterious Mr. Picklepants, only to be greeted with the poorly chosen carpet.

"Oh no, no. They don't sell those here silly!" said the dark haired customer.

Stephanie vaguely wondered what Mr. Picklepants was suggesting whilst debating on whether or not to call the nearby Mental Institute, when the customer popped up with a brightened face.

"I think we'll just get a large popcorn and two large iced teas," he said with a cheery tone.

Stephanie, deciding that as long as no harm came to the other customers, his overflowing imagination had nothing to do with her, passed on the desired items without a complaint.

"Enjoy your show."

* * *

"Don't rip my arm off Ron! I think you're overreacting," yelled Hermione.

"You don't understand, 'Mione! Ginny's still home, meaning Harry might be cheating on her!" yelled Ron, frantically looking around for the familiar mess of dark hair, "He never takes her out anymore!"

"Oh I doubt Harry's dense enough to tell you that he's going to the movies without Ginny if he was cheating – there he is!" pointed Hermione.

"Who's he with? Who's he with? Is it a girl? Is it a bloke? Is Harry gay? Bloody Hell Harry's gay!" exclaimed Ron.

"Ron calm down! He's alone!" reprimanded Hermione, "I told you there's nothing to worry about! Well, except he's talking to himself."

"Merlin's beard, it's worse than I thought!" shouted Ron, "We have to follow him and make sure he's not crazy! For Ginny's sake!"

"For Ginny, Ginny, Ginny! Is she all you care about?"

"Oh, Hermione, we're going to lose him if we don't hurry up!" Ron's face going purple, red and blue continuously.

"Oh so now it's about Harry! Fine, go make out with him for all I care!" Hermione stalked out dramatically.

"NOOOOOOO! Come back! The movie's about to start! The tickets aren't refundable!"

* * *

Harry and Mr. Picklepants were having a delightful conversation about how Robert Pattinson's hair could not look the way it did without having some kind of dead rodent within it. Most likely the fluffy kind. Harry thought it might be a rabbit, but Mr. Picklepants thought otherwise; he thought it extremely unlikely for a rabbit to snuff it in the hair of an unattractive actor. Rather, he thought it would be a skunk, whose main goal is to make unattractive actor's hair fluffy. And smelly.

And because of this, neither of them noticed Harry's best mate, Ron, slip in a seat behind them, intent on spying on Harry's mental health. Soon, however, all three of them were so absorbed in the movie that Ron completely forgot about his mission…and Hermione, but that's not important.

Right at the part of Bill and Fleur's wedding, Mr. Picklepants had to go to the loo, and Harry offered to hold his drink while he went (for some reason there were no cup holders – cheap movie theatre!).

Because Harry's eyes were fixed on Mr. Picklepants as he walked out of the theatre, he was completely shocked when Kingsley's patronus suddenly filled up the screen.

"AHHH!" screamed Harry as he threw both drinks into the air, one landing right on Ron's lap.

"Bloody Hell Harry!"

* * *

"Thanks a lot Ron! Can't you stay still in a movie theatre for twenty minutes?"

"How is it MY fault? You threw your drink on me! I look like I wet myself!" Ron's face reddened with anger.

"So you didn't wet yourself?" asked Harry suspiciously.

"NO! Now come one Harry, we're going HOME before you dump drinks on anyone else!"

* * *

During all this commotion, Mr. Picklepants was leisurely walking back to the theatre from the loo, only to find it empty of his dear friend, Harry Potter.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I really don't know what goes on inside our heads.**

**Disclaimer: I forgot to do this in the last chapter, but I don't own anything except the ideas/plots.**

Chapter 2

Idea 2: Capture an evil monster

Ron was feeling quite restless; he had a tingling sensation that someone was watching him. Not only that, he's been noticing poorly set traps all around him that he could barely avoid left, right and centre. He had an inkling feeling that it had something to do with Harry.

* * *

(Earlier that day)

"So Mr. Picklepants, what do you want to do today?" asked our wizard hero, Harry Potter. He intently watched the seemingly empty seat beside him as he ate his breakfast. His eyes flashed with an evil gleam as he yelled,

"That's jolly good!"

* * *

As Ron approached his best mate's house, he saw that the front door was left ajar with all the lights off. He started to panic; were the traps for Harry after all? Was You-Know-Who back again…again?

He paused. _If I was Hermione, I would go down the chimney or enter through the window for a sneak attack. But then again, I'm not Hermione. _Without a second to lose, he plunged into the darkness of Harry's living room. He had a second to grope around with his wand in hand before he felt the floor banish from under his feet.

"Bloody Hell!"

The room was flooded with light and Ron could see that he was trapped in a net, hanging from the ceiling. Harry suddenly jumped out from behind the couch and yelled,

"Gotcha!"

"Dammit Harry!" Ron shouted hoarsely, trying to untangle himself from the mess, "Let me down from here!"

"Not a chance, Won-Won!" replied Harry, "You're an evil predator who tried to eat poor Mr. Picklepants!"

"…Mr. Picklepants?" The last thing Ron saw was Harry's evil grin before he felt something hit his head and darkness shrouded him.

* * *

Harry watched Ron satisfyingly, as he subconsciously squirmed against the restraints in his sleep.

"Mr. Picklepants, what shall we do with the evil sorcerer, Won-Won?"

After a brief silence, Harry started to cackle evilly, rubbing his hands together.

"Excellent."

* * *

Ron woke up, startled to the faint murmur of chanting.

"Ooga Looga Ooga Looga..."

Ron vaguely wondered if Harry had rented an old Muggle history movie (he recalled watching something called the Pirates of the Caribbean and faintly remembered people with strange makeup and clothing chanting around the main character) as he forced his eyes open. When his eyes cleared of the haze from deep sleep, he could see the dark haired boy dressed in a grass skirt, holding a pointed spear with feathers in his hair.

"Harry…?" asked Ron cautiously, "what are you–

"SILENCE!" shouted Harry, triumphantly, "you will speak when spoken to!"

Harry continued to chant "Ooga Looga Ooga Looga" softly under his breath while circling the terrified red headed wizard, now dubbed Won-Won as Ron recalled bitterly. After what seemed like ages Harry stopped abruptly in front of Ron with a bowl full of suspicious red liquid. He scooped it up and smeared it across Ron's face, concealing his freckles.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Ron repeated, petrified with horror.

"The sacrifice must be prepared to appease our great King Mr. Picklepants!" said Harry.

"S-s-sacrifice? W-what kind of s-sacrifice?"

"SILENCE!"

Ron watched terrified, as Harry started chanting once again, "Ooga Looga Ooga Looga" when he broke off suddenly and froze listening.

"Someone's coming!" said Harry, "they must not see the prisoner!"

Ron didn't even have the chance to react before he was shoved roughly into a nearby closet by an unknown force.

* * *

"Hello Ginny," said Harry happily.

"Harry, I never see you any – what are you wearing?" said Ginny, her eyes skating over his grass skirt and feathered hair.

"Ron and I are playing a game."

Ginny briefly wondered what type of game would include a grass skirt and feathers but decided she didn't really want to know, so instead she said,

"Well go get changed. You've been cooped up in your house for too long; I'm taking you out."

"…Now? But Ron's still in the closet!"

Ginny was exasperated. What boys found interesting about spending countless hours in secluded areas such as closets dressed up in grass skirts and feathers, she would never know. What would they possibly do in there?

"Well then Ron should come out of the closet!" snapped Ginny.

"But then we won't have a sacrifice!" Harry retorted.

Ginny sighed. Her boyfriend's mind was much too eccentric for her to follow. Perhaps it was a bit addled after the duel with Voldemort.

"Fine! Ron can stay in the closet, but go get changed; I'm not going out to the public with you dressed like that."

"What about Ron being in the closet?" Hermione exclaimed, running in.

"Nothing. Mr. Picklepants, can you watch the closet door? I'm going out with Ginny and 'Mione," said Harry, walking towards his room to get changed.

Hermione and Ginny exchanged a glance, both silently agreeing not to comment on Harry's strange behaviour or his mental stability.

* * *

"…Hello? Harry? …Anyone?" whispered Ron in terror. On the other side of the closet door, he could hear the faint chanting of "Ooga Looga".


End file.
